Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Being a Mother...

I’ve been pondering since late last night whether write a post in response to something I read that turned my nose hairs up a little. I’m sure most of you will know what it’s about if you continue to read on. I've been over thinking it so much, so here it is. I really wish I was as articulate as these two ladies, they say it all.

Being a mother is easy, some of the time. But there are times when it feels as though the earth has opened up and you are falling into a big hole of fire and despair with nothing or no-one to help pull you out.

Like having to put your screaming 9 month old in his cot and letting him scream whilst you find the furthest, darkest corner away from his screams in the house while you try and find some form of sanity buried deep within so you can pull yourself together and deal with your child. And no, he wasn’t crying to annoy me, or upset me, or to tell me I was inadequate but it sure as hell felt that way right then and there.

Or sitting in emergency with a lifeless 1 ½ year old, with your head screaming ‘can’t you see my child is sick!!’

Don’t forget the countless days when you may go without a shower, getting dressed, brushing your teeth and you can totally forget about shaving your legs.

The bumps and bruises. To work or not to work. Breast or Bottle. In sickness and in health. Don’t do this but do that.

And that’s only with one child.

Just this morning when I was in the shower, I burst into tears. Don’t ask me why, I just needed to. Because being a mother is not ‘cinch’, it is the downright hardest job I will ever do in my lifetime. The constant worry about the most precious ones in your life, the worry if you are doing a good enough job.  This lasts a life time. A 24/7 job.

So yes, today, being a mama was easy, I had a great day with my kidlets. But right now with the exhaustion kicking in, tell me tomorrow morning after a few late night feeds how easy being a mama is... I dare you.

And to my mama friends... In my eyes you all totally deserve a medal, and I will happily make you one should your heart desire (as long as it is not made from metal... fabric is more my specialty)


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