Monday, August 16, 2010

Blog This: About ME

About ME. You'd think that I should know where to start, but I'm not really sure that I fully know who that is yet.

So to start simply, I'm Keshia. Known to my close family and friends as Keesh, known to my singing tutor as 'Quiche Lorraine', known by two little people as Mama.

I'm 24, but it seems so young actually writing that down. I've always felt like an older soul, even when I was a child so mostly I try and stay 'ageless'.

I'm the eldest of 'eight' children... and before you go whoaaa, no, I don't come from a family of parents that don't believe in contraception. My mum and dad broke up when I was a baby. Then they both went on to marry again, Mum having two children, Amy (19) & Daniel (17), Dad having the same, Mia (19, almost 20), Freya (almost 18). My step-dad left my mum and went on to have three more children, Kade (16), Holly (14) and Tayla (8). So, I'm the only one of 'me'. I don't think of any of my siblings as half or step siblings, to me, they are just my brothers and sisters. (did you get all of that, its a bit of a mouth full!!)

A strange fact about me, I'm one of those people that have never gotten over being scarred of the dark. I go all Ku-Foo Ninja like if I hear a bump in the night.

I've known my best friend for the same amount of years that I have been alive (minus a few hours). She has her butt planted over in Coventry in the United Kingdom at the moment and has been abroad with her mother since we were 14. I miss her terribly each and every day, so much that my body aches. The last time I seen her was July last year... and we ran a muck in our capital city. Ah sob, even good memories hurt sometimes.

I am a peoples person, I love finding out about people and what their stories are. Thats why in essence I started reading blogs. My blog, well its just a brain dump. I don't try to make it anything, just what ever comes out of my brain and through my fingers at that particular moment in time.

If I could defy one thing that has shaped me into the person that I am today, it would be the day I found out I was pregnant with my son. I was 19, and had been with my partner for two and a half months (we had been friends for much longer), initially, we thought that I would of been about 4-8 weeks pregnant and had both decided that we were going to terminate the pregnancy. We were both totally not ready to be parents. I had been sick for months on end leading up to the fateful day, and had actually had a pregnancy test done some months or so before hand 'just in-case'. It was a shock as well because I had been taking the contraceptive needle since I was 17.

My best friend took me up to the emergency ward one day, as I became really ill. The nurse there took one look at me and said I think your pregnant. I laughed.

I was.

Jase and I scheduled an ultra-sound for the following day. He picked me up from Uni, we went and sat in this gloomy waiting room. When my name was called I froze, once the ultra-sound was underway, I can remember starring at the screen thinking, why does this baby have fingers, it shouldn't have fingers. Then the words that the technician mouthed will for ever stay in my mind.

"From the measurements, it looks like your about 28 weeks, would you like to know what it is?"

I had one word circling my head, and it wasn't a nice one.

Turns out that that doctor had given me the wrong test results all those months earlier.

So from then I entered robot mode. I had 12 weeks to get ready for a baby. Heck, I didn't even have a stomach let alone trying to come to terms that there was a baby in there. That it was my baby was in there.

So it happened, I had a baby 14 weeks later. He became my baby and I his mother three days after that. (but that's a story for another time.) A baby that I now love with every ounce of my body and every inch of my soul.

So in essence, thats me. And a few things that have made and continue to make me, me.


Hayley said...

Wow what a story..we really do share more then we first thought! Thanks for sharing! xx

Rary Fenning said...

That's a moving story Keshia... nice to know a bit more about you & your family.. x

Rary Fenning said...

P.S. I'm 23 and still scared of the dark too!

Cat said...

Oh Keshia, I'm thrilled to hear more about you. I can't believe you're more than 10 years younger than me! You're right, you are definitely an old soul. I look forward to hearing more and more and you know I love your blog and it's insight in to your life, mind and loves. BIG hugs! xxxx

Ash said...

Hi Keshia - it was so lovely to read your beautiful and honest story and look forward to reading more of your blog!

MultipleMum said...

That was very heart-felt and revealing Keisha. What a lovely post. It is funny how things happen, isn't it? Look at you embracing motherhood after such a rocky start. We are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Your kids are lucky to have such an honest Mum x


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